I must be. Cheating that is. Got on the scales yesterday and my initial thrill at seeing 83.8 was totally crushed when I came on here and saw that, not only have I not lost anything in the last week, but I have actually put on weight. OK it’s only 100 grams but it’s still a gain and not a loss.

This week included me having a filthy cold and also doing one of the hardest fitness tests I’ve ever done – which I’m sure had earned me some weight loss points. Obviously NOT.

I’m actually quite disheartened by this whole thing. Even borderline depressed! I’m so utterly sick of being fat and blobby and I just want it gone so badly.

But I must have cheated! More than I thought. Cheating is a very emotive word though isn’t it? There has to be some give and take surely – but maybe by not writing down every morsel and mouthful that passes through my mouth I’m missing the subtle moments when I consume a little more sugar/carbs than I intended. It’s sooo easy to think “This is just a small mouthful it really won’t count” when obviously it adds up and it does count.

So where to from here now? I think maybe getting really strict with myself for a while and being accountable for every mouthful is a good start. Maybe then I can see the many moments when I do try to ‘slip in’ a little morsel or two.